Sol: A Mirrored Canvas

“I think of a child's mind as a blank book. During the first years of his life, much will be written on the pages. The quality of that writing will affect his life profoundly.” — Walt Disney.

Children have a variety of talents to learn over a long period of time and are born prepared to learn. Kids look to parents, relatives, and other caretakers as their first teachers in order to acquire the necessary abilities to become independent and enjoy happy, healthy lives. The experiences a kid encounters between other individuals and the outside environment have a significant impact on how their brain develops. The growth of the brain depends on the mind's nurturing care. Children develop and learn best in a secure setting with plenty of opportunity for play and exploration, where they are shielded from abuse and acute or ongoing stress. The growth of a child’s mind is highly dependent on the environment he or she grew in as kids tend to observe and imitate what they see regardless of the action being good or bad. Everyone of us has a different childhood experience and environment. Because of this, we have our own personal experiences that contributed to our development.

I have a friend, who I can hide behind the name Sol—since she loved the sun so much—despite the challenges she experienced as a child, she turned into a thriving and strong woman.

Sol is the first-born of their family. She kinda grew up knowing that her parents were too young when they had her. They were both still at the age where they make mistakes, and at a young age so she established this idea that she was one of those. Thankfully, she had grandparents to support her and, consequently, made it feel as if she didn’t lack things a child should have, more than that, she really received a lot to which she’s grateful for. Moreover, growing up, the first few memories she had was waking up with the smell of freshly cooked pandesal and customers buying and panicking at 6 am to go tend to their daily endeavors. 

“It was fun as I got to vibe and converse with lots of people and being the center of attention as a child. My grandparents own this local bakery, and my mom helped there so It was practically my “natural habitat”. I spent my entire childhood in that place, learnt a lot during the process, and it served as a pathway for me to meet people from different walks of life.”

Genetics play a huge role in a child’s persona. However, aside from their parents, other relatives can also impact a child’s behavior. According to Erikson's Stages of Development, everything a child needs to survive, including food, love, and safety, is entirely reliant on adult caretakers. A youngster will learn that they cannot rely on or trust the people who surround them if a caregiver does not provide them enough attention and love. A kid will have a sense of security in the world if they are able to properly create trust. Children who are under the care of guardians may feel distrusted if they are inconsistent, emotionally unavailable, or rejecting. Lack of trust will lead to fear and the conviction that life is unpredictable and inconsistent (Cherry, 2022). In Sol’s case, her grandparents were present to give her love and care as she grows up. By talking to, playing with, and taking care of their child, other caregivers can promote healthy brain development. When adults play and converse with children in turns and focus on their strengths and interests, children learn best. Children's brains are protected from stress by nurturing them by being sensitive to their needs and understanding them. 

“On the positive side, I tend to be empathetic and compassionate especially to people I don't know much or those to whom I've met only recently. It helped me understand other people better, their struggles and such and to provide support when they needed it. It also allowed me to connect with other people as most of them told me that I give off a comfortable vibe where they feel as though there's no judgment and lingering bad feelings when I talk to them. As for the negative attributes, I tend to be selfish especially to people who have wronged me in the past. I tend to have my walls guarded mostly to people I have little to no trust and those who left bad impressions to me and to those around me. It made me protect myself better and helped me lead a private life where only a few people have access to.”

Sol’s grandparents raised her with enough care and guidance to help her become a better person. As said by her, she hasn't experienced talking to an expert in the field or went through therapy so she may not be completely and accurately knowledgeable about her overall mental health but she is doing well. 

“Struggling in life, but so is everyone so I'm in a better place physically and mentally.”

I’d like to assume that she was raised in an environment she emanates as a person. Accordingly, Vygotsky's Sociocultural theory suggests that our psychological development is influenced in part by the mentor-like figures in our lives, such as parents and teachers. At times, our contacts with others in societies or our participation in cultural activities shape our values and ideas (Cherry, 2022b). I can actually testify that the people around her resonate with her personality. When she first brought me to her house and introduced me to her parents, I received a very warm welcome. They were very nice and I can say that they were genuine with how they treated me. I also saw how she stood up for herself when other people around her treated her indifferently. Not only was she influenced by the people in her home, but also she was influenced by the values she upholds in her life.

“I live by the mantra, 'If it comes, let it. If it goes, let it.' This phrase saved me a lot of stress, heartaches, delusions, and more. It helped me enjoy things as they are without the need of attaching to it deeply. We may meet people in our life that are meant to stay, and those who are meant to leave us with valuable lessons. Either way, the memories that we all have is what matters the most and it's up to us on how we view those things in life. There's really nothing permanent in this world, even us. I often see people as they are, and if they permit to, that's where I see them from who they truly are, more from what they show. This helped me enjoy other people's presence and other experiences in life without fearing that everything will all come to an end.”

I’d like to believe that one of the reasons why our friendship is strong until now is because we somewhat relate to each other. We both had different development as a person. Of course, both of us had a different upbringing and values in life, however, we both uphold the belief that whatever comes in our life, we must acknowledge it and whatever leaves, we must let it go. We had different struggles. But, I can resonate with how she was troubled as a kid, how she guarded herself growing up, and how she let her life go with the flow. Moreover, it is actually interesting to think how both of us had different experiences but the process of knowing one’s self helped us develop our way of thinking. 

Consequently, if you have ever wondered about what inspires human thought and conduct, understanding how your mind developed can provide useful insight to us. An understanding of child development is vital because it helps us to completely comprehend the cognitive, emotional, physical, social, and educational progress that adolescents go through from infancy and into emerging adulthood. Examining a wide range of elements that affect children's physical and psychological development is necessary to properly comprehend how children develop throughout infancy. How children develop physically and intellectually is influenced by their genes, their environment, and the relationships between these three factors.

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References:

Cherry, K. (2022, August 3). Erikson’s Stages of Development. Verywell Mind. https://www.verywellmind.com/erik-eriksons-stages-of-psychosocial-development-2795740

Cherry, K. (2022b, November 8). What Is Sociocultural Theory? Verywell Mind. https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-sociocultural-theory-2795088

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